Thursday, August 16, 2007

Michael Vick Alleged to have Al Qaeda Ties

A South Carolina inmate has become the latest to accuse Mike Vick of criminal activities. Jonathan Lee Riches is suing the embattled Falcons quarterback to the tune of 63 billion dollars. (backed by gold and silver and to be delivered via UPS to the front gates of Williamsburg Federal Correctional Facility, Sulters, SC.) Riches claims that on April the 20th, 2007, Vick stole two white mixed pitt bulls from his Holliday, Florida residence which he then used for fighting until on April the 28th, Vick put the dogs up for auction on Ebay and used the proceeds to purchase missles from the Irani government.

But the harassment did not end there. On May the 4th, Riches alleges, Vick stole his identity from his coat and used it to open new store accounts at PetSmart and Doggie Warehouse.

And we're still not done. Riches futher alleges that Vick voilated his copyright laws by using his copyright name on his personal football outfit.

Further allegations:
  • On February the 10th, 2007 Vick pledged allegiance to Al Qaeda
  • Michael Vick subjected me to microwave testing (this guy is one cooked turkey)
  • Michael Vick used drugs in school zones
  • Michael Vick is in the business of illegal steroids
Riches implores the court to issue a temorary restraining order barring Vick from "selling my copyrighted materials," stealing anymore of his animals, and "Michael Vick has to stop physically hurting my feelings and dashing my hopes."

Riches is an inmate at the facility serving out a wire fraud conviction.

View charges here


CrimsonNation713 said...

IMO hes going to plea and get almost if not all the way off this. If I were the DA I wouldn't plea. Hes got Vick dead to left with these three other guys getting ready to nail his thuggish butt....and he deserves it.

Sabanocchio said...

He's spending at least a year in jail IMO and most likely seen his last days as a Falcon. beyond that...who knows.

CrimsonNation713 said...

Theres no doubt hes done at Atlanta but when he gets out he picks right back up where he left off.A years not gonna hurt him a bit.NFL needs to make an example outta him and kick his sorry butt out of the league. PERIOD

SeanVol said...

Well, I guess the only football he'll be playing will be Madden '08, LOL.